Mr Grumpy Pants Vs The Halloweasels
by jaytoyz
Summary: Just a little something from the Swimmerverse...light and fun hopefully . Too early or too late for the actual holiday, just something that happened. Ok, caught me, just another shameless bid for attention so, go ahead, review, call me needy...and while you're at it, tell me what you think of the story...it's supposed to be fun. JT


**A/N: **Was working on a new chapter for Swimmer and this happened. As usual, timely is my middle name…what? OK, caught me…I just had the title pop up and the rest followed…so I guess this is just exercise. Hope it's at least worth the time to read. As always, any reviews are a great thing, good or bad, because they let me know you're reading. Disclaimers? Don't own Chuck or any of the characters from the show…or anything mentioned here that actually exists and is protected by copyrights, not making money with these scribbles. Thanks to all who've alerted, favorited or, even ginchyer, taken the time to review. Still having fun so, thank you Jim. _**JT**_

**Mr. Grumpy Pants Vs. The Halloweasels**

John Casey, USMC(ret.) was not a happy camper and the 'weasels' were, once again, the cause of his inability to find his calm center. Sure, anyone that actually got to know the former NSA agent would find that he didn't really have the ability to find his calm center but today, he was even farther from that mythical center than usual. He known today was coming and had been dreading it. Although he'd never admit it, even under extreme duress, as much as he respected his former partners, their twins scared the shit out of him. Not because they were evil or, as his parents would often refer to problem children, bad eggs, but because they were quite possibly the smartest eight year olds on the planet earth and they seemed to take great joy in tormenting him.

The last time the moron had tricked him into babysitting, the weasels had had been un-characteristically nice, even going so far as to remind him about a Ronald Reagan autobiography that was scheduled to show that night on the History Channel. He'd looked up in surprise at Chuck and Sarah, who were still standing just outside his front door, shocked that the first thing out of his temporary charge's mouths had been something that would appeal to him.

'What the hell?' he'd mouthed towards the couple, remembering at the last minute that he wasn't allowed to swear in front of either of the pairs of twins, at least not out loud.

"Uncle"

"Casey"

"No"

"Cursing" the identical blondes had said from their perches on Chuck's hips, each of them pointing an identical finger at him with looks of identical disapproval on their faces.

"How?" Casey had asked, sure that he hadn't spoken out loud.

"Apparently the El and Lisa have learned how to lip read" Sarah had answered with a look of maternal pride on her face.

"Oh, isn't that just wonderful" the retired marine had muttered, not really very surprised by the news because the twins were a constant source of surprise and wonder to anyone who spent any time with them.

"Sarcasm"

"No"

"Casey"

"Uncle" the little girls had said and then smiled at each other before leaning forward a little so they could reach out and slap their palms together in a scarily effective high five.

"And that?" Casey had asked.

"Yoda speak and Captain Awesome" Chuck answered with a smile, sure that the answer explained it all.

"Something new" Sarah added, her brief answer carrying the same 'that explains it all' tone that usually accompanied any answer about what the twins might do.

"O K" the older had man replied, stretching out the two letters with a 'whatever' tone. "So, we're just going to sit here until you guys get home from the preschool thing-a-ma-jig?" he asked, silently hoping they'd offer some last minute reprieve or, at the very least, some final command that would insure his safety from the precocious twins and their penchant for mischief. He silently wished again that Brooklynn hadn't decided to spend the evening with an old friend from high school because she seemed to be immune to the 'wrath of the twins' that almost always ended with one, or more, of his personal electronic devices doing something that it was never designed for.

His toaster oven had been turned into a 'joy-buzzer', delivering a shock anytime he touched the handle on the small door. Of course, when he complained to his girlfriend, she'd given him a disbelieving look before reaching out and opening the small appliance, without being shocked. It hadn't been until after he complained to Chuck, that the cause had been discovered. The twins had added a miniature, bio-metric scanner that they'd built and had been programmed to only shock the retired NSA agent. Of course, Chuck had reprimanded them but the pride in his voice was obvious and his 'angels' struggled to keep straight faces.

As soon as their 'grounding' had ended, his alarm clock became their next victim. The device would allow him to program times when he wanted to be awoken but would then ignore his commands and go off at all hours of the night and day. Once again, Chuck had fought against his sense of pride as he chastised the twins for writing a piece of original programming that allowed them to 'savage' his alarm clock using his own PDA…which they'd managed to remove from his pocket without him noticing.

And, the worst of the pranks had involved reprogramming his home's alarm/surveillance system so it had Porky Pig's voice and exaggerated stutter and would constantly question his arrivals and departures. It had taken Chuck almost two weeks to figure out what the twins had done and then, with their help, reprogram his house. He'd promised Casey that he'd watched the pair like a hawk as they helped reprogram the system but he'd been waiting for the other shoe to drop.

"It's a special meeting with their teacher about designing a new curriculum that will match their unique dialogue and rather high IQs" Chuck had explained, pulling Casey from the memories of his traitorous home appliances and the hands that had led them astray.

"Bartowski, they're three, how high could their IQs be?" Casey had asked, worried that the young girls odd speech habits might have been a result of some sort of learning dis-order.

"They're both testing off the charts, Casey" Sarah had answered, a mother's pride evident in her voice.

"What, they have charts for three year olds and their IQ levels?"

"No, they're testing off the charts…for teenagers. Their scores are almost as high as Jim and Nicky's" Chuck had replied. "Well, we gotta get going. We'll be back as soon as we can."

"You guys be good for your Uncle Casey" Sarah had said into the house, making eye contact with the pair who'd taken a seat on the couch that faced the large, wall mounted flat screen. "See you soon, John" Sarah finished and then turned without waiting for a reply.

The answering 'Yes ma'am, we will' that had sounded from behind him had sent a shiver down his spine because he recognized the sound of 'evil weasels' waiting to be released. Turning around quickly, he'd found Jim and Nic' staring at the menu display on the big screen.

The rest of the night had been frighteningly normal, the twins sitting calmly as he'd added comments to the programs narration while they'd all shared a bowl of popcorn. Letting his guard slip, he'd nodded off towards the end of the show, only to jerk awake, afraid that his lapse would result in some sort of prank. Looking around, he found the children sitting exactly where they'd been sitting since the program began, looks of innocence on their faces as they remained apparently engrossed in the story. He'd stayed awake for the rest of the evening, never quite shaking the feeling that something was wrong.

After Chuck and Sarah had returned to collect their progeny, he'd done a complete diagnostic on all of the electronics in his home and had found nothing. When Brooklynn had returned home, he'd confessed his concerns to her and she'd re-run the diagnostic, confirming that there didn't seem to be anything wrong. He'd slept fitfully that night, surprised that the evening had gone off without a hitch but unable to completely banish the strange feeling of dread that had been lurking around the edges of his mind since he'd nodded off earlier in the evening. Despite being hopeful that maybe the twins had outgrown their seeming need to wreck havoc on his life, he just couldn't accept it as a real possibility. It wasn't until he returned home from a shopping trip the next day and his security system demanded that he identify himself and then proceeded to alert the local authorities when it refused to acknowledge his codes and voice patterns, that he realized that he'd once again been hit with the 'weasel curse'.

It had taken Chuck almost forty-eight hours to purge all traces of the logic bomb the twins had written and another twenty-four hours to bring Casey 'back to life' since the twins prank had erased all traces of John Casey from every data bank on the world wide web.

Chuck had done his usual 'stern' dad reprimand, the pride in his voice at the twins program barely concealed. It had been Sarah who'd stepped up and, in front of the two squirming ten year olds, gave Casey permission to step up the level of their workouts as a punishment. Two weeks later a case of 'Johnny Blue' had arrived on his doorstep and he'd finally allowed the twins to actually apologize, having been implementing a 'don't talk to the instructor' rule for the previous two weeks.

It had been almost two months since the 'prank detente' and when Sarah had played the 'godfather card', explaining that she and Chuck needed to take El and Lisa to Stanford for testing, he'd reluctantly agreed to take Jim and Nicky for a couple of days, sure that he and, more importantly, Brooklynn, could survive. He'd forgotten that the stay included Halloween but was pleasantly surprised by the twins behavior, secretly sure that his threat of 'no trick-or-treating' was the cause of the good attitude from the weasels.

They'd been spending time with Brooklynn, working on their costumes, and he was beginning to believe the night, and by extension, the entire stay might be without incident. Even the impending arrival of the 'couch wreckers', who'd volunteered join him in chaperoning, wasn't filling him with the squiggie feeling that their appearances usually brought.

The announcement from the house's security system that there were visitors at the door brought him to his feet and, after pausing the movie he'd been watching, he made his way towards the front door. Not bothering to check the video monitor, he pulled the door open and was stunned to find a weapon pointing in his face. Just as he was about to attack he heard Carina Miller's voice telling him to 'stand down, soldier'. Taking a step back, he growled when he realized that the weapon pointed in his direction was actually plastic, as was the entire costume that the dwarf was wearing.

"Aren't you a little short for a storm trooper?" Casey said, secretly enjoying the stunned silence his pronouncement received.

"That's supposed to be my line, Casey" Carina replied, looking a little disappointed. Her costume was perfect, the white gown and rolled braids on the sides of her head making her look surprisingly like Princess Lea.

"I'm sure you can use it later when you get the moron home and get him out of that costume."

"Very funny, Casey" Morgan's muffled voice echoed out of the plastic helmet.

Before he could answer, the sound of running feet caused him to whirl around, sure that the twins had finally given in to their base programming and were now hoping to 'Kato' him while he was distracted. Dropping into a defensive stance he was stunned to see two furry creatures hurrying towards him, followed by his girlfriend who was wearing a very frilly dress, a crown on her head and a huge foam hammer in her hands.

"What?" Casey finally managed to get out, sure that the confusion must be plain to see on his face.

"It's a group theme costume, Uncle Casey" Jim's voice came from the furry creature to his right.

"It was Aunt Brooklynn's idea" Nicky's voice announced from the furry creature to the left, using the nickname that the Bartowski siblings had given to his girlfriend.

"And if you can guess the theme" Brooklynn announced, "you won't have to change into the costume I made for you. Deal? Good" she continued, giving Casey no time to agree or disagree. "Time's up" she said with a laugh. "Go get changed…right now, soldier. The outfit's on the bed now, chop,chop" she said, pointing towards their room with a huge smile on her face.

"I'm not wearing a costume…and you didn't give me any time to guess" Casey shot back, ignoring the whispers and chuckles from behind him.

"Yes you are…now go change, John Casey" the tall blonde commanded, her voice leaving no doubt that she was playing the 'girlfriend who shares your bed and who you won't be seeing naked anytime soon if you don't do this' card.

"Yes ma'am" Casey answered.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

Fifteens minutes later, five costumed people watched as John Casey, USMC(ret.) walked back into the room, wearing what appeared to be normal street clothes.

"I don't get, it, Brook" Casey said, the confusion evident on his face. "These are the clothes you wanted me to wear?"

"Think about it, John" she answered, tossing the huge foam hammer to him while Jim and Nicky both moved to stand right in front of him and then started doing knee bends, slowly bobbing up and down. "It's a theme, John."

Looking beyond the costumed twins, he saw Carina and Morgan, his helmet held in the crook of his arm, smiling at his confusion.

"I…uh…" the big man stuttered out and then watched as the woman, who'd become such a huge part of his life, stepped forward and before he could react, grabbed his ear between her thumb and forefinger.

"Get it now, John?" she asked with a loving smile, her eyes glancing from the foam hammer in his hands to the fur covered twins slowly bobbing up and down.

"Um…" he mumbled hating the knowing look on everyone's face because he knew, just knew, that he should have the answer to her question. Just as the puzzle pieces started to slip into place, his girlfriend leaned in close to the ear she was holding hostage.

"It was the day you were playing 'Whack-a-mole' and this 'Cinderella' met her 'Prince Charming" she whispered into his ear and gave it a quick nip before stepping away as she released her hold on his ear lobe. "Let's go, 'Prince', time to visit the neighbors" she announced and then leaned back in towards his ear, "and maybe later, if you're on your best behavior, I'll see about finding you a special treat."

John Casey, USMC(ret.) , was still in a daze when his girlfriend's voice finally cut through the happy fog that was muddling his brain.

"And if you don't hurry up, I'm going to let the 'moles' have the 'trick' portion of the evening" she threatened, smiling when she heard him mutter 'weasels, not moles' before moving towards the front door.

"Let's go, troops" Casey called over his shoulder. "The sooner we get started, the sooner we can get back". 'And I can get my treat' he added silently to himself, smiling at the memory of playing a silly arcade game and the magical result.

**a/n: **thoughts?


End file.
